Instead of writing my own post this week, I am excited to feature a post from another blogger. Mrs. Slee Jones is a blogger from the UK. We connected on Twitter and agreed to share blog posts with each other about a topic that we agreed on. So, this week, I get to post her blog here, and in a few weeks, she will publish my post on her blog. The topic we decided to write about was Setting Boundaries to Avoid Fatigue. Here is her perspective.
Fatigue effect's us all in different ways, nobody will ever be exactly the same. Firstly what is fatigue?? People think it's just being very tired all the time, how us sufferers wish it was just that!! Here are just a few symptoms on how it effects me-
· Feeling like I haven't slept when I've had plenty of sleep.
· Arms and legs feeling extremely weak.
· Eyes are sore, heavy, hard to keep open.
· Headaches/migraines that last days.
· Physically unable to sit up alone.
· No energy to even eat.
· Irritability.
· Can't concentrate.
· Memory Loss.
Those are just a few!! What people don't realise is the effect it can have on our relationships. Friends, family, significant others, children. We often push ourselves to the limit as the fear of saying no to someone in fear of them giving up on us is too much to comprehend, and also because we know how it feels to feel alone like you have nobody to turn to.
What we don't realise though is that when we do this our mind isn't able to absorb information as it normally would, we aren't concentrating to the best of our ability, therefore we can't give the best advice. More often than not the person who is venting to us can tell that we aren't 'listening' so to say which then causes a friction. Hense why we need to set firm boundaries with ourselves.
Listen To Your Body
It may sound silly as who would know us better than ourselves right?? Well we need to notice when we are getting fatigued before it sets in. Look out for the tell tale signs so you know it's time to rest. Are you aching more than usual?? Are you not able to concentrate on what your doing even if it's something relaxing like watching a TV programme?? These for me are sign's that my fatigue is coming on and I need to take some time out or I'm going to be in real trouble. Listen to what your body is telling you, go take that long soak in the bath or have an afternoon nap.
Learn To Say No
This is the hardest one for me. Nobody want's to tell somebody 'No I can't meet up for a chat today I'm too tired' or 'Sorry I have to cancel today I'm just drained'. We've all been there right?? Feel guilty?? End up going through with plans anyway?? Yup me too!! But we need to learn that all we are doing is making things harder on ourselves. If your friend rang you and said they couldn't meet up that day as they weren't feeling well would you be annoyed?? Of course not!! You'd understand as that's what friends do!! So why is it so difficult for us to do it?? Set that boundary in place that whatever you have planned, if you aren't feeling you best it's ok to say no. There's always next week, they can always find another babysitter, they can always put that bottle of wine back in the fridge. If they don't understand then they're not a good friend.
Make Time For Yourself
We all can have busy lives whether it's working, parenting, hospital appointments ect and when we're giving time to friends and family we often forget to look after ourselves. We spend so much time thinking of others (we all do it!) that having some 'me time' is the last thing we think of, or we plan it but never actually get around to doing it. When I realised I was burning myself out I decided I would make sure I had 1 whole day a week when I would rest. Nothing gets in the way of my day, granted it's not the same day every week but I always manage to have one a week. The day before I get whatever bits around the house that need doing done so that when the sprogs go to school it's all about me. I'll chill in my PJ's, have a long soak in the bath, binge Netflix, catch up on much needed sleep. Whatever it is I always feel abit more energised and ready for the following week after it. Doing this calms me and gives me the mental space I need to recharge. Maybe you can't do a whole day, so why not make 2 half days, or a morning/afternoon/evening twice a week instead?? I promise it will help!!
I hope some of this helps you understand the importance of setting boundaries for yourself so you can manage your fatigue abit better. Do you have a top tips on what helps you?? Let us know in the comments!!
Much Love - Mrs Slee-Jones xx
I loved reading Rhiannon's perspective on this important topic. I also intentionally take a day to rest each week and it helps me mentally prepare for the week ahead, so I highly recommend that you give it a try. Don't forget to check out her blog for more great resources on mental health! Here is a little more information about her, including links to her blog and social media handles.
Rhiannon is a welsh blogger trying to raise awareness of Invisible Chronic Health Conditions. Along with sharing her personal life stories she also blogs about beauty and parenting while reviewing products from all over the world. She loves making new connections and hopes by telling her stories she will help others not feel so alone in this crazy world!!